Writing Christmas Messages: Simple Words, Big Emotions

 

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image by puzzler4879

 

I was just writing a Christmas message for someone. As the thought formed in my head, before I could even write it down, it made me cry. They were not sad tears, or even happy tears. But simply tears of gratitude. The message is simple. One sentence. I don’t even know if the person it’s meant for will understand the impact of those few words, and the instrumental role they’ve played in my life that makes me grateful for them this Christmas. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that the message came from my heart. It made me realize once more, the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. People who bring out the best in you, fill you with positivity, laughter, but people who also challenge you. You are unlikely to find everything you need in just one person, and that’s okay. That’s why we have all different relationships.

I’ve been lucky in my friends and family. Even after moving to a new city six months ago, I’ve been lucky in making new, amazing friends. Christmas is a time to make them aware of that. 

Christmas messages don’t have to be works of art, hallmark poetry, or long letters. They don’t have to be hard-work, or something you do out of duty or obligation. Christmas messages should be for people that you really want to say something to. I’ll be honest here – most of the time, there will always be some obligatory cards we all send, because we have to. Usually to relatives, or if you are part of an extended friends’ circle, where sending it to one person, may offend another. In that case, it’s up to you. Honesty is important, but at the end of day, we also live in a practical world, and sometimes we all need to play nice. So if you need to throw in a few obligatory cards, don’t obsess about it. The point of this article, is about people you really do want to send a Christmas message to.

For those people, write something that comes from your heart. Don’t over-think it. You won’t need to. If this person is important to you, as soon as you think about them, memories and thoughts about them will fill your mind. Just write what comes to you. Capture the essence of your relationship with them. Perhaps you want to share a memory, or simply thank them. Perhaps you want to make a joke, or share a wish. Whatever it is, let it be simple in words, and big in emotions. And more than likely, the person reading it, will get it. But even if they don’t, you know your message is real, honest, and an expression of gratitude. 

Simple words. Big emotions. 

 

ACTION YOU CAN TAKE TODAY

Write your Christmas messages to the people who are important in your life, and express big emotions in simple words. 

 

 

 

What to do When You Are in Unequal Relationships

 

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image by postaletrice

 

It happens. People in your life don’t necessarily value you to the same extent that you value them. For example, say Joe is really important to you, but you are less important to him. Or vice-versa. Perhaps Joe considers you an integral part of his life, whereas for you, he’s not so important. 

It doesn’t matter what this relationship is. It sucks. Particularly for the person who cares more. 

So what to do about it? 

Let’s first of all accept the difference between feelings and relationships. You may have feelings for a person, which they are in no way obligated to return. But when you are in relationship with someone – be it, friendship, romantic, or familial – that creates expectations.

Best relationships are at least almost equal. By this, I don’t mean you should keep tabs on who does what for whom, or take turns to call each other. It’s not accounting or trade. It’s feelings. But where there is mutual affection and mutual respect – there will be give and take. 

It may not be exactly the same – for example, your way of expression affection may be to give hugs and make dinner for people, whereas your friend may do it by listening to you talk about your minute problems, and your sister may do it by bringing you practical help. It doesn’t matter if everyone’s way of showing affections is different – what matters is that their actions make you feel like you are valued in their life. 

But what if it’s not like that? What if most effort or show of affection (I mean their actions, not just words – words are easy) is one sided?

Then you have a decision to make. It’s going to be different from person to person and relationship to relationship, and therefore a very subjective decision. But below are few things you can consider. 

  1. Be honest whether this inequality exists only in your head

    If you are expecting things from someone, because of your feelings for them, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they owe you something. You need to be honest with yourself here. Is this person on the same page as you about the relationship? This applies less to familiar relationships – because the relationship agreement is already in place there, someone is related to you or they aren’t – but definitely applies to romantic relationships, as well as friendships. Just because you feel someone is your best friend, doesn’t mean they have to feel the same. Just because you are in love with someone, doesn’t mean they have to be in love with you. No one owes you anything. This honesty is important. So if you feel your relationship is unequal, first be completely honest, if the other person has anything to do with it, or whether you are just trying to project your feelings onto them. 

  2. Evaluate the importance of this person in your life

    Evaluate this person’s importance in your life, and yours in theirs. Why do you think there is such disparity? It may simply be because your personalities are different, or because you are at different places in life. For example, if you just made a new friend in a new country, they could become really important to you, while you may be one of their many friends. Or does this disparity exist because one of you simply doesn’t appreciate the other person more, or is too wrapped up in their own concerns? Again, honesty and clarity is important. If they are so important to you that you can’t reduce the intensity of your feelings, but also can’t do without them – then decide whether you need to have an honest conversation with them. 

Remember, not all relationships have to be equal. As long as both parties are satisfied with the state of the relationship, it’s not an issue. But if the inequality leads to resentment then it’s time to re-evaluate, take a step back, and decide what you want to do.

Do you want to have relationships that are massively unbalanced? If you are the receiver of affections that you can’t return, then it may make you feel guilty (if you are a nice person). If you are comfortable taking advantage of someone else’s affections, then well, you have other issues. If you are the giver of affections, but feel unappreciated, under-valued, and feel like you don’t matter as much in the other person’s life as they matter in yours, then you need to make a choice – if you already feel this way, then that means you know things are unequal. Continuation of these feelings may lead to eventual resentment. Resentment sours all relationship. So decide if the time to take a step back from the relationship is now. 

 

Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.

– Mike Murdock

 

Think about what your relationships are nurturing within you, and whether they are bringing out the best in you, or the worst. 

 

 

 

 

Win A Free Course – Create A Christmas Journal

 

image by Sabrina Campagna

 

Christmas is almost upon us. So for an advance gift, I’m going to give out a free copy of the Create A Christmas Journal course. 

To find out what the course is all about, read the description here.

If you want to create a valuable personal memento of your own for yourself or to give someone as a present, this course will help you do that. While this course focuses on Christmas, in the spirit of transferable ideas, there is nothing to stop you from using this material and relating it to other holidays.

Before I tell you about the contest, first let me answer a valid concern:

What if I have already bought this course?

If you have already purchased this course, then you can either give this win to someone else as a gift or you can pick another course of same or lesser value within next 12 months. Kaizen Journaling Academy will be offering a range of courses in 2015, and you will have the opportunity to take your pick.

To enter the contest and for your free chance to win, all you need to do is tweet about it, using @kaizenjournal in your tweet. I will select the winner by end of Sunday, 7th of December, GMT time. You can start the course immediately after you win, or you can start it from any date you wish.

So get tweeting, and create your own awesome Christmas Journal.