Every person and every idea needs a champion. We’ve heard this over and over again. Maybe, you can do it alone, but unless you are a hermit by profession, it’s going to be a lonely journey.
I’m all for independence. I’m proud to be independent. But a support group is not about dependency. It’s about having people to give you honest feedback when you can’t think straight because you are too close to your goals. It’s about having people to cheer you on when you feel like giving up. It’s about having people to kick your ass when you are dragging your feet.
I know, it’s not always easy to find those people. If you are aiming to do things that are different than then the norm, and not categorized by the standard tangible outcomes such as grades, certificates or pay cheques, then the chances are you face one of the below problems:
- Your nearest and dearest don’t necessarily understand what you want to do and why you want to do it
- They want the best for you, so they try to steer you towards the less risky method, tried and true conventions
- You feel uncomfortable talking to people about your dreams, because they just don’t see your vision and you want to avoid conflict
- You haven’t got anyone in your life that you trust enough to discuss your deepest dreams
- Your friends are too busy with their “normal” lives
- People don’t see why you are dissatisfied when you have a nice house, and a good job, and a lovely family
If you are lucky, you will find people who will share all these traits. At the very least, you need to find people who at least have one or more of these:
Make a list of people who are a major part of your life. Online or off-line. These are the people you spend a lot of time talking to. Day job, family, Facebook friends – whatever it is, it counts. Don’t worry about emotional bond with them. If you spend time with someone, but you don’t like them, they still go on this list.
These are the people in your life, whether you chose them or not. Are they any good for you? Find out by answering below questions. There is no need to make excuses for them. There is no need to get overly complicated. This is your journal. Be brutally honest.
Answer These Questions in Yes or No:
- Do they care for you?
- Do they support you in your goals?
- Do they “get” your goals?
- Do they promote you?
- Can you learn anything from them?
- Do they bring positivity to your life?
- Do they make you smile?
For everyone on your list, if you have less than three “Yes” then consider why they are in your life. If they are family, you wouldn’t want to dismiss them, but perhaps you could spend less time with them. With other, less binding relationships, think about the value it brings to you.
This isn’t about being bitchy. Friendships are supposed to be mutually rewarding relationships. If you don’t have at least three “Yes” then is that person still your friend? Or have you just got relics from a faded friendship?
Is there any one with 5 or more “Yes”? These are the people you want to spend even more time with. These are the people that probably bring out the best in you. Build more relationships like that.
Create your support group with conscious awareness that you are there for mutual nurturing. Be selective in who you let in that group, but once you have that, be generous in what you offer them.
Success support group is a give and take relationship, but it’s not about keeping scores. As long as you have the right people in your group, your mutual drive, passion and positivity will propel you forward towards your goals.
ACTION YOU CAN TAKE TODAY:
Take 30 minutes out of your day, and make a list of everyone you spend your time with. Answer above questions in yes or no as to what they bring to your life. Then, make a conscious decision about which of those people you want to spend more time with, and how you can achieve that.