3 Reasons to Force Your Loved-Ones to Celebrate Their Birthdays

 

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I love birthdays. Maybe it’s because that’s how I was brought up. Every birthday up until I was 19 was celebrated with family and friends. So perhaps I took it for granted that birthdays are special, and should be made a fuss of. Then I went through a 10 year period where my birthday wasn’t a big deal, because my ex wasn’t really into birthday celebrations. He would still do whatever I wanted, but it’s not the same trying to make yourself feel special, as opposed to other people making a big deal over you. It’s not his fault of course. He didn’t care for his birthday either (though I think he’s getting into them now, which is good.) Once we split up, among the many other changes, making big deal of birthdays again was an important thing for me. Not just for my own, but for all the important people in my life too – at least the ones who are local.

 

I think everyone should be made to feel special on your birthdays. Regardless of what they say, and how much they “don’t care” no one minds being made to feel special. Even if they don’t say it, or show their appreciation, I think most people – unless they really have a heart of stone – would be touched that someone cared for their birthdays.

 

If you think your birthday is just another day, or that all that happens is you are another year older, that’s a pretty grim way of looking at it. (Learn how to develop a positive mindset)

 
Your birthday means not just another year older, but another year of life lived, people loved, experiences gained, joy and sorrows shared. 
 

Your birthday means this was the day you came into the world, and started making your own unique mark, however big or small it may be.

 

It’s two of my friends’ birthdays this week, and mine coming up next month which has inspired me to write this article. So, if you have people in your life who are not excited about their birthdays, here are three reasons why you should make them feel special and force them to celebrate, even on a small scale:

 

Celebrating their birthday means you are glad they were born

I want to celebrate my loved-ones birthdays because I am glad they were born. I am glad that they are a part of this world. I am glad that they are in my life. Sure, my life would have been fine if they weren’t in it, but it would not be the same, because each person I care about, makes their own unique contribution to my life, and leaves their own unique footprints on my heart. 

 

Everyone needs to feel loved/appreciated/wanted

It doesn’t matter how secure or confident someone is about themselves. It doesn’t matter that they know their friends and family love them unconditionally. Everyone needs to be both TOLD and SHOWN that they matter. Knowing and feeling are two different things. We know a lot of things, but what we feel is at much deeper level, and to be able to make someone feel that they matter to you is a wonderful thing. So drop the ego. Whether it’s your friends, family, partner, whoever….it’s not about what they did or didn’t do for you (though of course do be wary of people just taking advantage of you), if you care about them, show them. Affection is not a business. It’s never going to be exactly 50-50. But hopefully, if you have good people in your life, they will appreciate the effort you make rather than take it for granted. If they do take it for granted, then it’s more their loss than yours, because when people are taken granted for long enough, they walk away. 

 

Every celebration is an expression of joy 

We all have tons of issues going on at all times. Money, career, relationships, family are continuous ones in most people’s lives. You may have health problems, urgent things that come up such as an exploding microwave or an annoying client or your kid failing in school, whatever….there are always issues that divert us from appreciating life, from appreciating what we have. “Special days” give us an excuse to take a break from all the urgent issues that compete for our attention, and allow us to just celebrate. This is why I love Valentine’s Day, and Christmas, and Diwali, and just about every holiday.

 

It’s irrelevant that Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for Hallmark to sell more cards, the point is for most people who say, “I love my partner the same every day of the year”, majority of them don’t actually show that love every day of the year. Majority of them are too tired, too busy, too preoccupied with general life issues. “Special Days” give you an excuse to make the celebration a priority. If you don’t need that excuse, kudos to you. Most of us do. Birthdays are that excuse too. How often do you tell people in your life that you are glad they were born? How often do you tell them that they matter to you? Probably rarely. Their birthday is your chance to tell them that. To celebrate anything is to celebrate life. We have one life. Enjoy it. Celebrate it as much as you can. Because you never known how many more birthdays you or your loved-ones have left. 

 

So, I hope you have plans for your birthday this year. And plans for everyone who matters. But what can you do if they refuse to celebrate? Show up on their doorstep with a cake anyway, or nag them into celebrating. Whatever works. 

 

ACTION YOU CAN DO TODAY:

What’s the best thing someone else has done for your birthday? Share in the comments below. And tell us what plans you have/had for your birthday this year. 

10 Responses to “3 Reasons to Force Your Loved-Ones to Celebrate Their Birthdays”

  1. Linda April 10, 2015 at 14:16 # Reply

    I’m sorry to say it since I love your blog and think you’re an inspiration in many ways, but right now I’m glad you and I don’t know each other in real life because I honestly HATE birthdays and birthday parties (especially my own) and having someone show up on my doorstep uninvited, carrying a cake and deciding that I should have a party… yeah, that wouldn’t go over well.
    It’s got nothing to do with not being a positive person, by the way, because I am (or so I’m told). I just don’t see what the fuss is about. Never have, not even as a kid.

    Don’t get me wrong, if someone wants to throw a party for his/her birthday, by all means go ahead. Just don’t do that for me on my birthday, because I definitely am one of those people that prefers to forget all about it and you’d make me really unhappy by forcing me to go through with that.

    So to answer your question what the best thing is someone ever did for me on my birthday? Well, ignoring the fact that it’s my birthday is by far the best gift I can receive!

    • Dolly Garland April 11, 2015 at 22:21 # Reply

      Linda,

      Don’t worry, I don’t show up on everyone’s doorstep :-) Even the people who are my friends. There are people who genuinely would hate that, and it’s their right to do so. But I am mostly talking about people who say they hate it, but they generally don’t. Anyway, it’s a very subjective thing, and you have to figure out the boundaries in each relationship on a case-by-case basis.

  2. Lynne April 11, 2015 at 00:38 # Reply

    I love a birthday party especially mine! :) And we are just about to celebrate my mom in laws 100th birthday! Now that worth a party!

    • Dolly Garland April 11, 2015 at 22:22 # Reply

      Lynne,

      That’s awesome. I love that attitude. I hope your mom-in-law has a wonderful party.

      All my best wishes.

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  7. Ed August 15, 2017 at 05:05 # Reply

    You are wrong. How dare you tell another adult how to feel, force your views on them. This is emotional rape. Just because you like something gives you 0 right to force it on others.

  8. Kevin Leverett September 18, 2017 at 02:08 # Reply

    Just happened to stumble across this, and wanted to clarify why some people don’t like to celebrate birthdays. At least here is my personal story.

    I’m a 42 year old male, and I do not celebrate my birthday in any way. I think the last time I did was about when I turned twelve or so. It just wasn’t a big deal in my family.

    I’m a total introvert. I don’t want to be recognized or the center of attention. I actually hide my birthday from both coworkers and friends. If you would like to quietly (one on one) wish me a happy birthday, cool. I’ll thank you, and we’ll go on our way. Just don’t turn it into a spectacle.

    I don’t want a cake for my birthday. I’ve struggled with obesity, and a few years ago I made a lifestyle change to get healthier. I want to keep my discipline, and cake is no longer a part of my diet. Yes, I realize one piece of cake, once a year will not hurt me. But… You would never offer a recovering alcoholic one beer for his birthday. Understand that there’s not much difference for someone who suffers from a food addiction.

    And for Pete’s sake… when I say I do not want presents, I mean it. I’m fortunate enough to have a great job, two great kids, and a loving wife. I make plenty of money, and anything I really need or want, I have already. I celebrate their birthdays, just not mine. Invariably, anyone trying to get me a present is going to spend a couple of hours trying to figure out what to get me. What do you get the person who has everything? You will find something (that I didn’t want or need) and you’ll present it to me. As I’m an introvert, this leads to awkwardness, and hurt feelings because I’m not floored with appreciation. In all honesty, I’m probably never going to wear that t-shirt.

    Instead, I ask if you feel the need to do something for my birthday, ask me for my favorite charity. Make a donation to it with whatever you would have spent on me instead. Let’s skip the awkward social constructs, and let someone less fortunate benefit from it. That will truly make me happy.

    I don’t consider myself to have a “heart of stone.” Exactly the opposite in fact. My plans for the next birthday… try to avoid any recognition and volunteer some time in my community instead.

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