I love birthdays. Maybe it’s because that’s how I was brought up. Every birthday up until I was 19 was celebrated with family and friends. So perhaps I took it for granted that birthdays are special, and should be made a fuss of. Then I went through a 10 year period where my birthday wasn’t a big deal, because my ex wasn’t really into birthday celebrations. He would still do whatever I wanted, but it’s not the same trying to make yourself feel special, as opposed to other people making a big deal over you. It’s not his fault of course. He didn’t care for his birthday either (though I think he’s getting into them now, which is good.) Once we split up, among the many other changes, making big deal of birthdays again was an important thing for me. Not just for my own, but for all the important people in my life too – at least the ones who are local.
I think everyone should be made to feel special on your birthdays. Regardless of what they say, and how much they “don’t care” no one minds being made to feel special. Even if they don’t say it, or show their appreciation, I think most people – unless they really have a heart of stone – would be touched that someone cared for their birthdays.
If you think your birthday is just another day, or that all that happens is you are another year older, that’s a pretty grim way of looking at it. (Learn how to develop a positive mindset)
Your birthday means not just another year older, but another year of life lived, people loved, experiences gained, joy and sorrows shared.
Your birthday means this was the day you came into the world, and started making your own unique mark, however big or small it may be.
It’s two of my friends’ birthdays this week, and mine coming up next month which has inspired me to write this article. So, if you have people in your life who are not excited about their birthdays, here are three reasons why you should make them feel special and force them to celebrate, even on a small scale:
Celebrating their birthday means you are glad they were born
I want to celebrate my loved-ones birthdays because I am glad they were born. I am glad that they are a part of this world. I am glad that they are in my life. Sure, my life would have been fine if they weren’t in it, but it would not be the same, because each person I care about, makes their own unique contribution to my life, and leaves their own unique footprints on my heart.
Everyone needs to feel loved/appreciated/wanted
It doesn’t matter how secure or confident someone is about themselves. It doesn’t matter that they know their friends and family love them unconditionally. Everyone needs to be both TOLD and SHOWN that they matter. Knowing and feeling are two different things. We know a lot of things, but what we feel is at much deeper level, and to be able to make someone feel that they matter to you is a wonderful thing. So drop the ego. Whether it’s your friends, family, partner, whoever….it’s not about what they did or didn’t do for you (though of course do be wary of people just taking advantage of you), if you care about them, show them. Affection is not a business. It’s never going to be exactly 50-50. But hopefully, if you have good people in your life, they will appreciate the effort you make rather than take it for granted. If they do take it for granted, then it’s more their loss than yours, because when people are taken granted for long enough, they walk away.
Every celebration is an expression of joy
We all have tons of issues going on at all times. Money, career, relationships, family are continuous ones in most people’s lives. You may have health problems, urgent things that come up such as an exploding microwave or an annoying client or your kid failing in school, whatever….there are always issues that divert us from appreciating life, from appreciating what we have. “Special days” give us an excuse to take a break from all the urgent issues that compete for our attention, and allow us to just celebrate. This is why I love Valentine’s Day, and Christmas, and Diwali, and just about every holiday.
It’s irrelevant that Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for Hallmark to sell more cards, the point is for most people who say, “I love my partner the same every day of the year”, majority of them don’t actually show that love every day of the year. Majority of them are too tired, too busy, too preoccupied with general life issues. “Special Days” give you an excuse to make the celebration a priority. If you don’t need that excuse, kudos to you. Most of us do. Birthdays are that excuse too. How often do you tell people in your life that you are glad they were born? How often do you tell them that they matter to you? Probably rarely. Their birthday is your chance to tell them that. To celebrate anything is to celebrate life. We have one life. Enjoy it. Celebrate it as much as you can. Because you never known how many more birthdays you or your loved-ones have left.
So, I hope you have plans for your birthday this year. And plans for everyone who matters. But what can you do if they refuse to celebrate? Show up on their doorstep with a cake anyway, or nag them into celebrating. Whatever works.
ACTION YOU CAN DO TODAY:
What’s the best thing someone else has done for your birthday? Share in the comments below. And tell us what plans you have/had for your birthday this year.