Ask the Readers: Who Are You?



The value of identity of  course is that so often with it comes purpose.

– Richard Grant


Do you know who you are?

Do you struggle sometimes, feeling at a loss, and ask yourself,
“Who Am I?” 

If you do, what is your biggest struggle or obstacle in finding yourself? 



Please leave your replies in the comments below. 


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8 thoughts on “Ask the Readers: Who Are You?

  1. I believe the biggest struggle I have with finding myself is all of the expectations that others put on me. I feel that I often have to put on the act or show that someone expects of me. I sometimes don’t know if I am doing things because I want to or because I am expected to.

  2. Gina,

    Attempting to live up to expectations of others is something most of us get conditioned to do over the years. The only way to be free of it is through absolute self-awareness and then deliberate effort. It’s not easy, but it’s entirely possible. That’s why self-awareness is essential. You need to know what you want, so that you can be sure that what you are pursuing in life is true to you.

  3. I think for me the biggest obstacle is the sheer number of internal, conflicting impulses. I want to lose weight, but I also want to sit in the recliner and snack. I want to succeed at work, but I have about five different, somewhat-conflicting definitions of success. And so on.

    I’m often puzzled by the admonition to “listen to the still, small voice within.” I usually want to say, “WHICH ONE????”

  4. Hi Dolly,

    What an important post. Such a great conversation to have. Thank you!

    I really do know who I am, and I have done the work and the digging over many, many years to discover this. I feel solid about my purpose—what my purpose is, and at the very root of that is (on a human component level), who I am at my core. I am here to BE that person I am at my core.

    Throughout your whole life, you have a core you. Of course you grow and change, but that underlying core is solid. You may be a healer, and inspirer, a connector, a guide, an encourager. THAT is WHO you are. I KNOW who I am.

    I also know there are many ways that I can express who I am, and many avenues to connect with people and do the work (the soul thing) that I am here for, because that soul thing is not a “doing” thing as much as it is a “being” thing!

    Now there is the DOING…

    I have learned that what you do can change, and you usually do something for a season or a time, and then you are called to do something else, BUT WHO YOU ARE, the core BEING under all the doing, remains pretty much the same.

    With that said, if there is an obstacle, it is to stay focused on what I am called to “Do” in each season of my life as I am “being me” (I never have a problem being me or connecting to my core purpose. My problem comes from getting distracted and trying to DO too much). I have learned to FOCUS on what I am called to do AT THIS TIME (you know it because it speaks to you over and over, the thing that is always there during a particular season of your life, not there just some of the time).

    I have learned that there are numerous ways (“doings”) to connect with others FROM the place of who I am. The challenge is to not get distracted and chase a lot of the different “ways” or “opportunities” (i.e. don’t chase a lot of different “doings” at one time). FOCUS on that thing you are called to do right now (for this season), and BE who you ARE at your core while doing that thing. Then, in another season of your life, you may be called to DO something different with your time while still BEING the YOU that you are at your core (the BEING is about your purpose).

    I think it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS more important to BE who you are at your core than it is to DO the perfect thing. You can connect with others and with self, and you can show love DOING just about anything, as long as you are BEING who you are at your core while doing it. BE YOURSELF!

    Love and hugs,


  5. I think that in the past I have experienced this kind of questioning of myself and my motivations.

    but not as much now… I am not sure if it because I am older now or because I have spent quite a bit of time over the last several years searching.

    it is well worth the time though

  6. Doug,

    Start with your goals. But not just a random bunch of “I want” list. Start with goals that are motivated by your WHY. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? Is what you are doing today, going to get you there?

    Have an absolutely clear vision of who you want to be – that will give you motivation to curb the habits that prevent you from going there.

  7. Margo,

    Thank you for sharing your interesting thoughts about this question. Be who you are – yes, that is absolutely the essence of it. Unless you are YOU – the honest, real YOU – it’s like living in a matrix, never quite sure of what reality is!

  8. Lori,

    It is totally worth the time. I’ve spent the last decade doing just that, and the knowledge and experience and journey is worth all the questioning.

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