image by puttermouse
Currently I’m going through a personal issue where letting go of something old is saddening. It’s a major life change, one that sort of half-happened, half chosen. I know it’s the right thing to do, and that’s where the conflict comes in.
I’m sad to let go of what has been….but I’m looking forward to what could be. I’m looking forward to doing something different, starting a new phase in life so to speak.
This sort of thing is not limited to major life changes. We go through this often in life. You want a new job, but don’t want to risk losing the security of the old one, same with relationships, or even something like moving home.
When we are divided by these conflicting emotions, your brain and heart becomes a yo-yo. You go from a bout of misery to hours of excitement and planning. For those of you who are control-freaks like me, it’s even more difficult because we are not just dealing with our conflicted feelings, but we are also dealing with being overwhelmed by this complete lack of control.
Thanks to years of journaling I understand exactly what I’m going through and why, yet understanding does not make much difference. Feelings are not ruled by understanding. Feelings are ruled by emotions. As much as the control-freak in me may wish otherwise, it’s a good thing that we can’t entirely control our emotions. That’s what makes us human.
Journaling about it – whining when the misery takes over, and outlining future plan when excitement takes over – gives you a greater understanding of your emotions. It shows you that you are human, and that things are rarely black and white. It also avoids sucking you into guilt trip for feeling one way or the other.
What do you think?
Have you tried to use journaling to sort out your conflicting emotions?